I'm not sure if this is finished.

This is dedicated to my Utah roomies, My Mos, Haleigh, and Ali. Before I start I would like to say that since I no longer live with them, this blog shall be full of grammatical errors. Deal with it! J

 So I don’t really know where to start, maybe I should say where I am because it’s not home. I am currently at work, there is no one here. I am listening to 90’s music and singing along to my childhood.

 Funny story about work yesterday, I traded shifts with another girl, I was supposed to open so when we switched I closed, damn I am the story master! No detail left unsaid! Well I had been hanging out with Amanda and Hunter the night before and we were partying it up ya know Facebook creepin very late at night. So I agreed, I was like yeah I’ll trade! Just more time to creep on people and girl talk, or whatever. Hunter is not yet 18 or I’m sure we would’ve gone to the District night club. Mmmmm.  Any way I thought we were all set and I get a call at 8am saying, your stores not open. I was like fuhhhh. So I jumped out of the bed like a freakin super hero on an adrenaline high (no sleep will do that) And raced to work! I had a late open. Poop. My first one ever. But I don’t blame the other girl at all she’s been having a very hard time lately. I still love that girl!

 So my morning went like this, late open, then I turned into a CNA.  Do you know what cna’s do? Well they clean up all the bodily fluids of old people who cannot control themselves or their bladder. This sweet lady came in (50 years old…..) I got her all set up in her tanning bed and sent her to the room. No one else was coming in so I decided to creep on her comments in the computer. Of course FIVE of the comments were “make sure to take out the trash can in her room she pees in them.” Can I add right here that these trash cans are little baby trash cans? The ones you have to put your foot on a pedal to open….. I was like fuhhhhh. She best not piss in this trash can.

Meanwhile my dear sweet dad comes in and brings me breakfast. Homemade chocolate chip pancakes. J <3 love him.

So we’re chattin’ it up about random shiz while I was reading these comments and I go dad…. Who the hell thinks its okay to pee in a trash can? His answer “Tanner, or wait, was that Bryson?” (My younger brothers.) So we laughed and I was like no dad for real, look at these comments. He read them and said, “Kirsten if she does you need to call her (in case she leaves) and tell her she needs to get her butt back here and clean up her piss.” So I said dad I don’t know how to do that. How would you tell someone, I mean doesn’t everyone know that’s inappropriate and discussing?

  No this lady did not understand this extraterrestrial conception. I mean she’s the normal one here, why doesn’t everyone just pee in trash cans? Good lord it’s just so much easier than walking 7 doors down to have a real full sized toilet.  I have to admit though, these things are small, and she had to have some talent…. Unless she was really a man. Hahahaha! What a laugh!

NO but for real after she left I checked the trash can and there was trash in it and I didn’t see any liquid. I was happy, and then I took a closer look and saw droplets on the paper that was in there…. I took the bag and began to lift it…. It was heavy with effin’ piss. The trash that was in there had floated to the top covering the pee like haha you can’t see me and you’ll never know who did this or why it smells like piss. Well I found your trick immature BZ. I Kirsten Williams had to clean up an old woman’s piss because she could not walk 7 doors down to the toilet. Oh and I mentioned before that this was her 6^th time doing it. Right?  I work in a tanning salon BZ, not a freakin’ nursing home. I refuse to clean up piss again. It’s wrong and gross. Besides I’m not even licensed to clean up biohazards material. END!

My first customer of the day finally came in, two hours after I get here; she’s one of my favorites. So nice and never pees in trash cans! Well now that we’re on the subject of strange things that happen to me at work, let’s go to when I worked in Tulsa stores for two weeks. (I think I shall draw pictures for this blog just for you guys because I have been a slacker.) But I will do those when I arrive home.

So. Tulsa stores are very different. Let me give you an example, in general Owasso is all oh I love you, we’re residential and peaceful and nothing goes down and we just have a movie theater and bowling alley for entertainment , keepin it safe! J Now Tulsa, Tulsa is more like, “don’t give me attitude I’ve got my own!  Boom Bitch stay outta my f****n’ way! I am a total bad ass and do whatever I want and don’t give a “bad word that shall be censored” Clubbin’!” ;)  (Winking smile cause Tulsa is a flirty slut.) Haha Tulsa….. I heard this week that it’s the 28^th most violent city in the U of S. Fun fact for ya.

 Well, I was at the 21^st and Yale store just Chilin. My permanent store is Owasso but someone quit so I got to cover her shifts. Back round story complete! I swear.

So here I was in one of the Tulsa stores (21st) and this lesbian couple…. Partner? Comes in. one of the girls wants to do a regular tan then go into a spay tan, that is common so she and her girl get out and the other one goes into the spay tan. The spay tan only takes like one min. she pops back up and they’re talking, the girl that came out of the spray tan hadn’t put her bra back on… besides announcing it to everyone you could tell. She proceeds to tell her girl toy…. (Gag) that the spray tan leaves no lines what so ever. For some reason she had to prove it as well. Yes, she pulled her shirt completely up and just kept her boobs up and out for everyone to see for a good min. while her girlfriend is examining them extra closely talking about biting….. Yeah… I kind of ignore from then on. Gross. But I mean if they are happy, who am I to judge, plus it makes my life seem like things actually happen. Haha.

What else happened in Tulsa…? Oh I seriously had a 20min chat with this new customer! I love her to death! She was the one that said “You know what they say about girls with big feet, it really hurts when they kick your ass.” Oh Miss Josie, she was quite adorable.

Ms. Peeinthetrashcan is tanning….. There is no trash can in there with her. I’m kind of scared she’s going to pee somewhere else now. Like the floor or behind the bed. If she does I’m stopping her and doing what my dad said and telling her to clean up her piss. Well she didn’t pee, because there was no trash can. Damn, doesn’t that suck when you have to hold it because there’s no mini trash can to pee in? She left her bag here though. I think I’m going to leave a note in there that says “really? the trash can?” and that’s it. Or I’ll put I cleaned up your pee yesterday and I don’t want to do it again. You’re not a baby or a ninty year old woman who can’t control her functions. Stop it. That really should not be acceptable.

Can I randomly say that Dads spending time with their kids are so cute! Recently I’ve seen a lot more doing that, I won’t see the mom but here’s good old dad laughing, and goofing around with his little girl or boy. That’s my favorite. J I see a lot of that in innocent Owasso, but not Tulsa. Ha. Tulsa…. I love that place.