Home life so far.

So I decided to not come back to Utah. Here I am in Oklahoma. It’s pretty nice seeing everyone again. I missed this place a lot more then i thought i would. So far I have had one job interview but turned in more applications. My dad reminds me every day how horrible it is that i don’t have a job yet. How many days after Christmas is it? Yeah, let’s think about that. At one point i think it was the day after i got home I went around to see all my friends, My dad was quite upset with that. Then the next day he says, "Geez Kirsten, don’t you have any friends at all?" I was sitting on my bed at that moment in time and he had just gotten back from taking majority of my siblings out to their friends’ houses. Last night I was going to my friend’s house, because yes, I, Kirsten, have friends. Shocker. Yeah, apparently i am 16 again and need to leave him all the information before i leave. You should have seen him last night! Ridiculous! It was like i said,... "Hey dad I'm going out to do drugs now and possibly have drinks with this guy i barely know all by myself, tootles." when in reality i said, "Bye dad I'm going to Alex McCafferys to help dye her hair." .....sound alike at all?  Then when i go to hang with them he complains that i am wasting my time and wasting gas. Make up your mind father. Can i have friends or not!? While i was at Alex's he had told me to call at 10:30 so i did, and he freaks out saying, "Why aren’t you home yet!?" well, i am calling like you said to. "But you should have been home by now, give me a time est.!" Well we have to finish Alex's hair and it’ll take me around 25ish minuets to get home so I’m gonna go with an hour and a half. "Kirsten, That’s midnight." Yes dad. "I want you home alive tonight." Dad, I'm sure the family i am with will not kill me. "That’s not what i mean" ......Whatever dad see you then! So my dad now thinks that if i am out past midnight, i will die. There is no ifs ands or buts, i will die. Thank goodness i got home 20mins before midnight last night. Just 20 minutes more and I would have come home dead. Phew! I suppose staying over at someone’s house is out of the question now. Darn. I think it is quite stupid that they are treating me like this, let’s face it, i am 18 years old. Legally I can be out past the city curfew. I have nothing to do right now because I'm not sure if i would be allowed to do anything with my nonexistent friends that waste my time and gas...... good thing i have real friends that do nothing of the sort! I can’t wait till summer..... I want a job. I want to save up all my money and get my own place, but then i wouldn’t have a car. Because the car i drive is “My dad’s car that he lets me drive”, that is the official title. Don’t get me wrong, i like being home but the "I think you’re on drugs" thing got old Jr year. Why its starting back up again I will never know because they don’t talk to me about it. Ever. Just saying, I would take a pee test right now, you wouldn’t find anything in me! Meanwhile, my brothers are in California for New Year’s. What am I to do for New Year’s?   You guessed it, I’m thinking nothing because obviously I would end up dead because New Year’s in fact takes place at midnight and sometimes, surprisingly, can last longer than that! And we all know that’s just not safe. I hope everyone else has a great Friday night…. Thanks for reading my bitching. I’m sure I am allowed to use that word for my dad uses it all the time, and let’s not forget, that I am also 18.

My letter to Mos.

Dearest Kelsey, Mos,

          I am currently in the airport, very bored and quite stuck in one place. This so called carry-on weighs too much! The handle has broken so I can no longer carry it as normal. Oh, and the best part is I cannot go anywhere without all of my bags at all times; therefore, I am pretty much stuck unless I want to literally drag this Hawaii bag with me. No chance there so I shall be holding my pee till I arrive in Tulsa; Four more hours to go; Joy.  Well, I shall tell you what I see right now. There is a lady having a hoot with her little yorkie. How did that happen? I thought you had to put animals in the underbelly of the plane. I suppose not for she is a walking example. To be fair it is quite a cute dog. The girl directly behind me insists on constantly fixing her hair, it has been hitting me for quite some time now.

I spy with my little eye an Auntie Anne’s and I would very much like a pretzel but seeing as the little baggage problem I told you about has not been fixed I shall not get a pretzel. I will just stare at the sign, with a few tummy rumbles here and there. I have just realized they have changed the gate on me so I will have to move eventually. Thank goodness it is only one gate away from me. I also found out there is a flight boarding right this very second for Tulsa and of course it is my favorite airline, Southwest.

Oh! Bryson, Catherine, and my daddy shall be at the airport. Seeing as Tanner, Taylor, and Ethan have finals tomorrow, my mother thought it would be best if they got some sleep. But do not fret Mos! I have a feeling they shall be up all night waiting to greet me.

I have been invited to seminary tomorrow already. I might just have to go in order to get the car in order to get to tech! I suppose I shall do it, but I do so hate the morning traffic in Owasso. The schools are far too close to each other so the traffic gets rather heavy.

Just a random thought, why is it so much easier to write you a letter than an essay? It’s possibly because I can use my thoughts in your letter but in an essay I can never have my input or opinion in the paper. Yes, I suppose that’s it. I just sent you a picture of the water that I am drinking. Right after I pressed send it fell through the crack of the chair. Not cool. I can’t reach it. Geez. Are you ever gonna text me back!? I am thirsty. I can see the water but I cannot reach it, accursed connected airport chairs.

There is this annoying beeping noise Mos, and I have no idea where it’s coming from. I think it’s funny to watch people walk across the floor that moves, the thing that’s like a flat escalator. Those people look like speed demons and they are entertaining indeed. The lady with the dog just got up. She has the dog in a little basketball hoop looking thing tied to her front. That poor dog looked terrified. It also has a strangely long neck. I think I shall call this dog giraffe. This name is quite suitable for it, believe you me! I don’t know if the dog is actually cold but this lady who I will now name Gretchen, is putting that red blanket on the dog over and over again. Gretchen must really love Giraffe for she talks to him a lot; Maybe a little too much. Gretchen just shushed Giraffe, I don’t think Giraffe has made a peep that I have heard; Poor Giraffe.

This looks like a good place to make a new paragraph for Gretchen has stopped the shushing of giraffe. I will update you on them though, for they are quite the traveling pair. I want Giraffe for my own. I was going to say something about being so close to home that people are wearing OU shirts, then as the little boy got closer I noticed it was a Cardinals shirt. (Off went Giraffe’s blanket, I bet he is shivering his little tush off.) A man in an orange shirt just sneezed. And someone on the TV just missed a touchdown. What a waste of that run.   There is a woman that just walked in and the first thing that came to my head was Purple Pumpkin. Please don’t ask me why, I do not fully understand this either.

I feel that I should move over now, there is room. But at the same time I look at all the stuff I have to carry and I am thinking I will be able to hear the announcements from here. I hope I can. Purple pumpkin is reading a book by David Something and snacking. Oh my is she snacking. I have a feeling they are Goldfish. Oh gosh, was I way off, they are chocolate turtles.  I still see my water, I really want it. I am quite thirsty, stupid chairs. The girl that was hitting me with her hair is apparently secretly getting married, oh the joys of having a loud conversation everyone can hear. And a woman dressed in a red jogging suit just walked by me with her little boxer dog. I suppose Gretchen is not the only living example any longer. Do you think you have to put your dog under the scanner or have the security officer feel the dog up for random dangerous items? And couldn’t a dog be a weapon? Ever heard the term SICK EM BOY! I guess they don’t worry about silly things like that they have bigger things to worry about like water turning into a bomb or something like that.

I don’t blame them I mean anything is possible. Purple pumpkin gave a foreign boy a 50 cent piece so he could phone home or order a pizza, who knows!  There is another woman who just sat down and the first thing I thought was Piglet! I think this is from her hot pink fleece vest. Well pardon me for a min. I have to move now…

I have moved and there are some new people, the one that caught my eye is a boy, not just any boy. He is argyle sweater boy with plaid underneath! But for sake of my typing we’ll just call him Argyle. Now Argyle is also reading a book I can tell by looking at him but I can also tell because he reads it out loud; very loud. But do not fear Mos, this book is almost done. I want to bet that I will be sitting by him on the plane. The most tragic thing happened, I had to leave my water behind in gate B25. Here I am in gate B23 still very thirsty. I forgot to mention that I cut my lip earlier with a piece of salt water taffy. I do not fully understand this either. But I would just like to say it is bothering me, very much so right now.

I think Argyle just finished his book. What is he to do now? He has Dasani. I am jealous. An iPod? Oh good choice Argyle! I wonder what’s on there. I am going to make a wild guess and say that it’s more “hardcore” stuff because Argyle has his ears gauged and his shoes look more like the shoes for kids that listen to that. Don’t argue with me. Of course he could be listening to Barney is a dinosaur or freaking Ke$ha! I’m not positive and will never know for sure till I ask him. I don’t think we shall ever find out Mos.    Sorry I just don’t feel like randomly asking people stuff tonight. Weird huh? I need chapstick. Now. I love Carmex. The cut on my lip is burning a bit but don’t fear, it is a good burn!

Argyle has rolled up the plaid to a half sleeve that is quite the look. This Free Wi-Fi for all is not working, or I would be on Facebook or something like that. I have debated about taking pictures around me so I can give you a visual as well but I have a feeling people would get offended, maybe even feel threatened, who knows. I want to listen to Kid Cudi right this very second. I have currently started up my iTunes, with no headphones. That’s right I am the inconsiderate jerk right now. I think it’s low enough though. I honestly think I am the only one that can hear it. As I am listening to Ke$ha’s song Crazy Beautiful Life, I want you to take her advice and get a little high on life. Electric Feel is next, I don’t really have any advice on life from that song, give me a min. though and I bet I can make up something.

Why are people who work in airlines always foreign? I don’t mean like the skin color or anything I am talking about the accents. They are great and all and I wish I had one but when you make announcements on a plane or talk to me on a phone I want to understand you.  Oh my gosh! I didn’t even notice this boy over in the corner! He is wearing an ugly Christmas sweater; and has many colors surrounding him that I am not quite sure about.

We are supposed to be boarding this plane in twenty min. or less and I have yet to see the plane I am boarding. I also just answered my phone and talked semi loud while listening to iTunes, oh yeah! I am one of those people we all love to hate! The flight attendants are currently freaking out about free food from the pilot. One of the flight attendants has quite a laugh, remember the video we watched last night with Glo-zell? That’s all I have to say. i now see the plane I will finish this in a few hours when I get to Oklahoma. It is now chilly in here. Argyle keeps looking at me, I do hope he is not listening to Whitechapel and thinking too much of the lyrics. Wait, that might be too much for him. Well I would like to tell you about my flight. This pretty attractive man sat beside me! But he was blonde, sorry. He is a wildlife fireman, something like that so he travels a lot. That morning he had been in Costa Rica. Well he was pretty cool I guess, he sped off the plane as fast as he could! Excited to see his family, I think not! 

Well now I am home. A huge group of people just came by to sing carols. I mean like around 50ish people! Oh Maggie peed she was so excited to see me. And yeah, that’s life so far! Though, I did go to tech! It was quite fun!  Then I saw Tanner, learned a disturbing fact about Kolby and Benton. Though I guess it was expected. Oh I do hope they don’t read this. I currently hear my daddy laughing at a movie. I have missed his laughs and hugs.

I miss you Mos! I yelled out to day saying, “MOS?!”, but you didn’t answer. I think I will miss that a lot, if not the most. Now I shall tell you all the things I will miss and we will take a walk down memory lane. Do you remember one of the first nights we were there I got out my scrapbook and actually showed you it? Holy crap! I am so lame! How about the time I left you that note to join me at the twilight show in pioneer park, then I got home before you? But in the while I got lost. I still don’t understand how I got back before you, you weren’t lost. Oh my gosh! The Greek festival! We thought we would find some cute guys there, and there wasn’t one. Remember the first time we had a “sleepover” then we started trading off nights for whose bed we would sleep in? I hated your bed because it was so cold! So, what movie are we gonna watch tonight? I think I watched more movies with you then anyone else! Including my family! Don’t worry, that doesn’t sound too bad right? Remember those days we went to church, and sat alone? I am so glad I had you to sit by. You will have to tell me how our favorite construction site comes along.

Oh gosh, do you remember when Ali moved in and we took her phone and laughed at it for what seemed like days!? Remember all those times we could hear each other in the shower screaming because the water would turn freezing in one second? Oh how I hated that shower.

I will miss so much! You were the best first roommate anyone could ever ask for! I love you! And I miss you so much! Thank you for being there for me and dealing with my saltyness or just my weirdness. And thank you for the letter! I love your letters! J

Love, Kirsten! Mos.

I don't care.

But in reality I do.
I haven't written a blog in awhile and I'm feeling kinda down today so why not right?
Bring me the horizon's new cd is playing and I am basically alone in this acurssed house.
Well, besides the regular people that never come out of their rooms, ali is at work, so is kelsey, (mos), and haleighs best friend ty is here so they went to the mall. Now back to the story.
                I think I have said before that sometimes i really dont care but there are other times where i do care but there is no way in hell im gonna let any one see that and there are times when i care and you will know. I worry about how communication works these days. It's terrible, it sucks. I could say something like I have more opertunities in Oklahoma and it is translated into, I dont care about you any more i'm leaving. So lets chat about the Oklahoma thing, it goes along with alot of this. I am failing classes and I know for a fact that I will fail next semester if i stay here. So what did i do? I told my dad i was failing and not having a pleasent time here. Why? He deserves the truth, he was paying for my college and I wont be wasting any more of his money. Yes. I am a waste of money. Yes i am a waste of that widows mite yes i am a bitch sometimes yes i do complain other times yes sometimes i am grumpy and yeah i speak my mind and am honest. But that doesnt mean you have to tell me im a waste. or remind me im a waste of that widows mite. Sometimes i dont even care when people call me a bz or bitch. But in all honesty i have heard that more times  here than i have my whole life, and its catching up to me and slowing me down. i have to say if people keep calling me this, thats all i shall be til i leave. THIS IS NOT ME. I dont know why utah, but i have become a bitch living here. I'm really not like that. Thank God i am leaving this place maybe i can go back to me and not be so stresses or tense. I have never wanted to cry so many times here. Thats why i dont talk out my feelings, i will cry. I hate crying, its pointless in my eyes and weak. I dont want people to see me like that. well i dont know what else to put. im done. im gonna go finish packing.
There is a Hell Believe me I've seen it, There is a heaven, let's keep it a secret.

"If I let you in, you'd just want out.
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.
If you follow me, you will only get lost."

~BMTH

:)

Great lyrics. By the way, I recomend this cd. :)
I feel better now. Writing helps me. Talking it out, not so much.
Oh and dont get me wrong I will miss certain people here because i love and care about them but i am not ment to be here. Just found that out a little late.