I don't care.

But in reality I do.
I haven't written a blog in awhile and I'm feeling kinda down today so why not right?
Bring me the horizon's new cd is playing and I am basically alone in this acurssed house.
Well, besides the regular people that never come out of their rooms, ali is at work, so is kelsey, (mos), and haleighs best friend ty is here so they went to the mall. Now back to the story.
                I think I have said before that sometimes i really dont care but there are other times where i do care but there is no way in hell im gonna let any one see that and there are times when i care and you will know. I worry about how communication works these days. It's terrible, it sucks. I could say something like I have more opertunities in Oklahoma and it is translated into, I dont care about you any more i'm leaving. So lets chat about the Oklahoma thing, it goes along with alot of this. I am failing classes and I know for a fact that I will fail next semester if i stay here. So what did i do? I told my dad i was failing and not having a pleasent time here. Why? He deserves the truth, he was paying for my college and I wont be wasting any more of his money. Yes. I am a waste of money. Yes i am a waste of that widows mite yes i am a bitch sometimes yes i do complain other times yes sometimes i am grumpy and yeah i speak my mind and am honest. But that doesnt mean you have to tell me im a waste. or remind me im a waste of that widows mite. Sometimes i dont even care when people call me a bz or bitch. But in all honesty i have heard that more times  here than i have my whole life, and its catching up to me and slowing me down. i have to say if people keep calling me this, thats all i shall be til i leave. THIS IS NOT ME. I dont know why utah, but i have become a bitch living here. I'm really not like that. Thank God i am leaving this place maybe i can go back to me and not be so stresses or tense. I have never wanted to cry so many times here. Thats why i dont talk out my feelings, i will cry. I hate crying, its pointless in my eyes and weak. I dont want people to see me like that. well i dont know what else to put. im done. im gonna go finish packing.
There is a Hell Believe me I've seen it, There is a heaven, let's keep it a secret.

"If I let you in, you'd just want out.
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.
If you follow me, you will only get lost."

~BMTH

:)

Great lyrics. By the way, I recomend this cd. :)
I feel better now. Writing helps me. Talking it out, not so much.
Oh and dont get me wrong I will miss certain people here because i love and care about them but i am not ment to be here. Just found that out a little late.